Coping Mechanisms Part 2

We all know that exercise is good for us.  Good for the heart, the bones, the blood sugar.  What doesn’t seem to get as much press is that exercise is good for our mental and emotional health too.  I realized years ago that I am a much nicer person after I’ve been exercising regularly, and better able to deal with the irritations of life.  I like to play tennis for the focus it requires, and to bike ride for the sense of freedom, and to walk in the woods for the serenity.  Activities like these provide a healthy outlet for stress.  I also have a deep fondness for yoga.

I’ll start by saying I have had no yoga teacher training so my perspective is one of an ordinary enthusiast.  There is so much to learn about the discipline and I know I have only begun, even after about a decade of practice.  Each of the poses - asanas - has myriad subtle muscle movements and I learn more about refining the postures almost every time I take a class.  My understanding of yoga is that the practice is meant to be a preparation of the body for meditation.  But as someone who has a hard time sitting still, yoga itself is typically meditative enough for me.

In the Before Times, Ken and I both had established regular yoga practices.  I had a few years more experience than he did, but once he realized how much easier it was for him to climb in and out of his kayak to fish, he was all in…after only a few months he noticed that yoga strengthened his core and improved his balance.  He even continued with a dedicated practice after his first cancer (major abdominal) surgery, although things got a bit scrambled early in the pandemic.  After the lung surgery in summer 2021, his declining health put an end to his practice and while I tried to keep up with an occasional lesson, it got harder and harder to find the time and virtual classes.  After he passed and I no longer cared so much about bringing germs home, I looked forward to returning to the studio where I didn’t have to worry about banging a foot on the furniture and could enjoy a closer student-teacher interaction.  I started with beginner level sessions, both to give myself time to regain fitness as well as remember the nuances of each pose.

There is a need for both strength and flexibility in yoga, but anyone can practice with pose modifications and props.  I believe the most basic tenet of yoga and the focus of my thoughts today is pranayama, or control of the breath.  There are some specialized techniques of breathing in yoga, but in the classes I typically attend the focus is simply on syncing our breath with our motion: inhale on one action, and exhale on the next.  Sometimes it seems that the most common cue from a teacher is “Remember to breathe” when s/he notices that everyone is holding their breath as we attempt a strenuous pose.  It is ironic that just at a point when our bodies most need oxygen, we can forget to provide it.  Of the particular techniques that I’ve tried, my favorite is what I’ve heard referred to as “square” or “box” breathing.  The breath is comprised of four parts:  an inhale, retention of that inhale, an exhale, and finally a holding of that exhale, with each action taking the same amount of time, which we can visualize as a square.  When I do this, I try to inhale for a count of three seconds, gently hold that breath for another three, then exhale for three, and then resist the next inhale for three.  It is harder for me to do than it sounds, and typically I need to return to a normal breath pattern after several rounds.  Someone told me that Navy Seals use this technique to maintain their composure, but I haven’t checked that claim.

The first time I tried square breathing outside of a yoga class, I had awakened from sleep in those hours after midnight when the normally caged thoughts of worry and speculation roam free.  I felt anxious but didn’t realize how much until I decided to try square breathing and my chest was so tight I couldn’t inhale to a count of even one.  So I backed off, took a few deep breaths, and then started the square with a one second cycle.  After a few rounds I was able to lengthen the time to two, and then three and then four seconds and I could feel my heart rate slow and my anxiety soften.  Those thoughts that haunt us when the house is dark and the world is quiet can stimulate the fight or flight response when the need for either of those actions is unlikely.  But after adrenalin is released in our system, falling back to sleep becomes difficult.  Controlled breathing sends a signal to the brain that we are safe, and is a way that I work to take back control of those hours.

Recently I participated in a Yin and Restorative Yoga class that was focused on exploring grief.  Yin and Restorative Yoga are two practices that are both slower paced and involve more passive poses than the various Yang practices I am accustomed to, but they are different from each other.  Yin Yoga focuses on stretching the connective tissue that binds our bodies together, like the fascia and ligaments, in order to release tension.  Restorative yoga focuses on supporting the body in poses to promote healing.  I intend to spend some time exploring whether these slower practices are better suited to my needs as I grieve.  After all, I slept better after class that night than I have in months.           

The balance in yoga between flexibility and strength parallels our needs in life.  Strength helps us to survive in the world, and flexibility helps us to deal with the unpredictability which we frequently face.  It is a combination of both which help us to thrive.  While there is a satisfaction in feeling more physically powerful, my mental and emotional sides also benefit.  On a few occasions, I have started to cry during a yoga practice, even though in the moment I am not sad per se, as psychological burdens that I’ve been holding as physical stress get released.  If you have an interest in yoga, I recommend finding a local studio and taking a beginner series to learn the basics and establish a solid foundation for future learning.  There are plenty of classes on-line but the feedback from an in-person teacher is not only a faster way to learn, but also will help you avoid injury.

The world is a hard place.  Yoga and other exercise won’t change that, but it has improved my ability to accept the things I cannot change.  And even if yoga is not your thing, when you have those days when you don’t have it in you to be strong, and it feels impossible to be flexible, I hope you can remember to breathe.